


airbrushed and lifeless

by parishilton



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: Angst, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Sexual Repression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:46:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2216346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parishilton/pseuds/parishilton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"oh," cody says, nodding. "i see where this is going." he bites into a sandwich. "you love frankie, then you hate him, but you never stop fucking talking about him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	airbrushed and lifeless

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song loretta young silks by sneaker pimps. ("seen a vision of perfect grace, airbrushed and lifeless....all style before content, using me as bait.")

germany is amazing.

the architecture is incredible and zach is so insanely grateful for the opportunity that he tells himself he doesn't actually care that he didn't make final two.

he does end up taking cody with him because he's read enough shit that cody's spewed about him to indebt cody to him for a lifetime. they get drunk almost every night, staying out til four in the morning, puking in their tiny toilet in the bathroom they have that's the size of a shoebox.

it's hard adjusting to life post big brother. those are the exact words he'd told his mother in the airport on the phone, before his connecting flight. he said it with a laugh, because at the time, he was ecstatic to get out of that fucking house, but his mom knows him better than he knows himself.

"baby, i saw your interview with jeff. why don't you trade in your plane tickets for another time?"

zach thinks about it for a second, but that's all it takes for him to decide that he's just not ready for the speculation. jeff had hit him with some pretty ruthless questions and it had left him terrified of what everyone else back home would say.

every time he speaks to his mom he's reminded of how she got engaged to his dad after only three weeks of knowing him. it makes his stomach churn as he thinks of how badly he fell for frankie in even _less_ time than that in the house. now that he's back in the real world, he can see how silly that all was. still, seeing a picture of frankie on tmz or perez hilton makes his head spin, but he can't stop himself from looking.

and, shit, the amount of german beer he drinks that first night could put a man twice his size in a grave. cody is drunk within an hour and starts laughing, talking about nicole's germitard. zach is fed up with hearing about big brother. he hears enough about it from his own head when he's trying to sleep every night, wondering what his friends back home are _really_ thinking about him, wondering how many people across america pity him for being betrayed by his best friend on tv. he chugs a drink left on the bar table by a stranger and stalks off to the toilet.

he pulls out his phone, squinting in the bad lighting of the bathroom stall. he left because he didn't want the conversation to move on from nicole to frankie, on the off chance that it did, but here he is, pulling up his google alerts anyway.

_frankie grande last spotted in new york city with sister ariana grande, celebrating his return after coming in second place this year on the hit reality tv series-_

zach feels bile rising in his throat. he bends over the toilet, expecting to puke, but only dry heaves. "thanks, perez," he mumbles, tossing his phone back in his pocket.

* * *

  
"no!" ariana whines, tugging at frankie's arm, "sleepover! c'mon, let's watch breakfast at tiffany's."

frankie is exhausted and wants to go to his own apartment. beyond exhausted, he feels like his arms are about to fall out of their sockets from carrying all of his sister's luggage from the car. but he melts when he sees ariana's face.

"fine," he sighs. he flops backward dramatically on her couch, smiling at her softly. she's wearing satin pajamas and still has her jewelry on from the day - a diamond ring and a diamond bracelet shimmering in the dark.

"you are _everything_ to me," he declares, resting his head back against the couch and letting his eyes flutter shut. he thinks he can hear ariana getting up and going to the tv, maybe to put in the movie.

his phone rings shrill, shocking him out of his sleepy lull. he pats down his sides, his ass, the couch cushion, trying to find it. it's on the coffee table. he answers it without looking at the number.

"franklyn!" a voice booms into his ear.

frankie startles, jerking back from his phone. he gapes. " _zach_?"

ariana turns around, grinning at him. she gives him a thumbs up, then looks back down at her dvd player. frankie groans.

"where _are_ you?" he asks.

"germany!" zach shouts in response. "hang on, i can't hear you. i'm about to be in the hotel."

frankie doesn't know how to respond. he waits for what feels like forever. he's thinking of maybe just hanging up and texting zach saying he'll talk to him tomorrow. then, he hears a door slam shut.

"okay," zach says more quietly, "i'm in my room. cody's asleep."

frankie sighs. "thanks for the play by play."

"our room is tiny. it sucks. it doesn't even have a bird's nest bed," zach declares, slurring his words.

"are you _drunk_?" frankie asks, making a face. ariana sits back down on the couch next to him, cocking her head in confusion.

"no! i only had, like, twelve shots of vodka!" zach laughs, paraphrasing rachel vodkacran.

frankie groans into his hands.

ariana pats his knee. "what did he say about vodka?"

frankie winces, ignoring her.

"i should have brought you instead of cody," zach muses. "i miss sleeping with you, dude."

the _dude_ tacked on at the end is too much for frankie. he can't believe zach's level of repression. he can feel ariana's eyes like lazer beams shot through his skull, trying to read his thoughts.

"mmm," frankie says, feigning disinterest.

"i hate sleeping with cody. he fucking talks in his sleep. and i can't fall asleep unless i give someone a backrub, but i'm sure as fuck not gonna give _him_ one."

frankie knows ariana can hear every word zach is saying, because she's looking at frankie like he has two heads. "how long are you in germany for?" he changes the subject.

zach moans. "five more days! i wish i could get on a flight straight to new york. i don't wanna go back home."

"you can," frankie offers, lowering his voice. "you're always welcome here." he can feel ariana's stare and it's beginning to unnerve him.

he figures zach will be too drunk to remember frankie offered.

* * *

  
"should i go?" zach asks cody, sitting on a train with him in the mid-afternoon. it's loud and the entire body of the train rattles, shaking zach's knees.

cody slumps backwards, kicking his feet across to rest them on the opposite seats, which are empty. "go where? that pub where we met those twins last week?"

" _no_ ," zach sighs. why the fuck does he hang out with cody? he never fucking listens. "to new york."

"what's in new york?"

zach grits his teeth. the tallest buildings in the world. the best food in the world. the most diverse culture in the world. a thirty one year old gay guy who played him like a fool on national television.

" _oh_ ," cody says, nodding. "i see where this is going." he bites into a sandwich. "you love frankie, then you hate him, but you never stop fucking talking about him."

zach wants to strangle him because he knows it's true.

* * *

  
so, maybe he had his heart broken. that was two months ago now. zach bites his fingernails. he's over it. it's been two months.

he googles frankie's name about fifteen times a day and stalks his twitter, vine, youtube, and instagram obsessively, but it's in the past.

zach made a huge mistake in trusting frankie. he thinks he trusted him right off the bat because somewhere inside he knew that they had something in common. just because frankie's gay, he realizes, that doesn't mean frankie owed him anything in the game.

it's not frankie's fault that zach had a school boy crush on him. it's not his fault that zach was metaphorically writing frankie's name in hearts on a notebook page.

but it _is_ zach's fault that he misses frankie even now. it's his fault that he gets drunk enough to call frankie and talk about _sleeping in the same bed_ as him. all his friends texted zach on finale night, telling him how much they hated frankie, but zach has no willpower. his resolve is weak. the worst part is probably that frankie never texts him first. or that he doesn't text back until two days later. every thought in zach's head ends with frankie, no matter what it starts out as.

he's fucked so many stick thin blonde girls in germany that he thinks he doesn't even have a type anymore - he has _criteria_. are their hips as tiny as frankie's? is their hair bleached like frankie's or natural?

frankie can't be looking for somebody like zach. it makes zach furious with himself, that he's so young, that he has no money, and that he hasn't ever been with a guy before. frankie has the exposure to date whoever he wants. he would never date someone like - no, zach thinks - even saying the word _date_ is too much for him.

* * *

  
that week where he and frankie were co-hoh's was zach's real downfall. he's never been a relationship kind of guy. he prefers one night stands. he was blissfully unaware of the slow, slippery progression of his and frankie's relationship until it was staring at him in bed.

zach would wake up, cosied up under blankets, watching from the bedroom as frankie put on mascara and concealer in the bathroom, leaving the door wide open.

that's the kind of thing that sets zach on edge. _real_ shit like that. husbands and wives who kiss each other good morning before brushing their teeth or blow each other's noses when they get a cold.

his dad proposed to his mom after knowing her for three weeks. he said he just knew. without ever being in the big brother house, zach would never have had a guy in his bed for him to think that maybe that was the life for him. he was put into so many situations that he wasn't prepared for that the eight weeks zach was there, they felt more like eight years of being married to frankie.

but, yeah, he misinterpreted. frankie did the same shit with everyone. he has to remind himself that sharing a bed with someone for a week is hardly a marriage certificate.

* * *

  
"is he really coming?" ariana teases, teetering up and down on her four inch heels, spinning around on frankie's kitchen floor.

frankie snorts. "no, rose." he reaches up and sorts through the boxes in his cabinets. "this expired three months ago. i thought you were going to look after my place?"

she ignores him, looking down into her lap.

"texting a new boyfriend?" frankie asks, grinning. "harry styles? maybe james franco?"

ariana snickers. "no, i'm texting _your_ boyfriend."

frankie drops the expired can of string beans on the kitchen counter. she says it with such a child's voice, full of whimsy and innocence, that frankie isn't mad so much as irritated.

"don't you want to know what i'm telling him?" she taunts, raising frankie's phone up in the air and waving it around. "what if i'm telling him something dirty?"

frankie shrugs, hoping his method acting of pretending he's unbothered by this news will actually work and he won't feel like he's having a heart attack because someone indirectly brought up zach. "whatever you're telling him i want to do to him is probably true, anyway," he shrugs.

ariana giggles. she giggles just like zach does. maybe that's why he thought it was so cute when zach did it. frankie shakes his head, trying to will the thought away.

"how do you feel about candle wax?" ariana breaks him out of his trance.

"scented or unscented?" frankie snides, pulling up a chair beside her. his life has surrounded him with children.

"bondage?" ariana asks with a smile.

frankie rolls his eyes. "i'd do anything with him."

"i'm going to tell him to get on a plane right now," she croons, voice deep and sultry.

frankie drops his chin into his palm, smiling at her. "i missed you."

he tries not to look like he's panicking. there's no _way_ zach will come. zach hates his guts. he's not coming anywhere _near_ frankie for at least five years. maybe they'll be a bb16 reunion party then and he will grace frankie with his presence. until then, frankie has to be happy with drunk dials. he has to be happy knowing that zach is out of his life. he lost him. he fucked up. he pushed zach too far and then he pushed him out of the house and now he gets to listen to zach guilt trip him, all the way from germany.

"he's not coming," frankie says, wishing he didn't have to say it out loud in order to convince himself not to get his hopes up _again_ because of some stupid frat boy from florida who isn't even gay.

ariana glances up from his phone and takes his hand in her's, swings it back and forth. "you never know," she says sadly. he knows that she's just placating him.

* * *

  
zach shows up on a tuesday.

frankie's doorbell rings and he thinks maybe it's his sister and she lost his key again. he isn't expecting anyone. he's wearing sweatpants and no shirt.

he swings his door open and zach is standing there with a huge duffle bag over his shoulder. his mustache and the hair under his chin are back again and it looks like his hair has grown a good three inches up into the air.

"i was, um. in the neighborhood," he says, scratching behind his head and looking at the ground. of course he was. everyone knows new york city is right between germany and florida. frankie wonders how many hours he's spent on planes. he knows zach hates to fly. zach finally looks back up, standing there awkwardly and cringing like he's waiting for frankie to tell him to get lost.

frankie throws himself at zach, wrapping his arms around zach's neck and pressing his nose into it. he knew he missed the kid, but he didn't realize the weight that would be lifted off his shoulders just by seeing him. zach doesn't smell like after shave or deodorant, he just smells like _zach_ , a little sweaty under two sweaters and a jacket. frankie squeezes him like he thinks zach might change his mind and walk right back out down the hall and out of the building, because he does kind of think that.

zach nervously laughs, his hands coming up to frankie's back to pat at him awkwardly. "i figured you'd have a million people over. cody said you'd be having a week long welcome home party and probably wouldn't have an extra bed to crash in."

"please tell me you didn't bring cody," frankie begs.

zach's smile lights up the room. "no, he's back in new jersey."

frankie sighs in relief. "you have to tell me all about germany."

"okay," zach says, smiling at the floor. "just let me brush my teeth and change. long flight."

"the bathroom's down the hall on the left," frankie says, pointing.

as soon as he hears the bathroom door close, frankie calls ariana, huge smile on his face. "guess who's in my apartment right now."

"oh no!" ariana says sadly. "are the termites back?"

frankie laughs. "no. _zach_ is here."

"no!" she says in disbelief. "you thought he wasn't coming."

"he's in my bathroom right now, brushing his teeth." frankie paces around his kitchen island, tapping his nails along the marble.

"how long is he staying?" ariana asks, voice rising in excitement. "i want to meet him!"

frankie cranes his neck to check down the hall that zach is still in the bathroom. "i don't know. is it too early in our relationship to ask him to move in?"

"you want to have his babies," she cheers. "little kids who run around wearing pink hats and playing with golf clubs."

"you're disgusting. stop giving me ideas," frankie says, laughing. "i have to go."

"text me updates!" she yells.

frankie scoffs and hangs up on her.

* * *

  
frankie doesn't know if zach has jetlag or not, because he's acting just as sleepy in frankie's apartment as he did in the big brother house.

"i think it took a week to get back to america. i don't even know what day it is, dude." zach follows frankie from the kitchen to the living room and sits on the couch next to him, leaving maybe a foot between them.

"it's my lucky day," frankie says in a baby voice, shuffling over to get closer to zach. he takes the blanket off the back of his couch, drapes it over their laps, then takes zach's arm and lifts it enough to crawl under it. then he drops zach's arm back down so zach's hand is lightly resting on frankie's chest.

zach giggles and nervously rubs at frankie's chest. "sorry if i pass out."

he makes a good effort, frankie admits. he stays awake for an hour, watching tv with frankie and muttering little comments here and there, but he keeps rubbing his eyes like he can't keep them open. frankie wants to kiss his eyelids maybe, and then his nose, and then his mouth.

instead he coaxes zach's head down to his shoulder. zach tries to mumble that he's fine and tries to straighten back up on the couch, but frankie holds him down. "take a nap," he commands.

zach sighs defeatedly into frankie's neck and nods. "just for a minute." he waits a beat and then moans. "oh my god, dude. i'm so tired."

frankie wonders if he's saying it so he has an excuse for why he can't go lay down in frankie's spare bedroom instead of cuddling up to frankie. he pets zach's head for a couple minutes, stopping when he realizes zach is already asleep.

frankie reaches for his phone, careful not to move zach at all, and starts to type out a message to ariana. _update: he fell asleep on me_

frankie lets him sleep for two hours. then, he gets hungry and decides he wants to wake zach up by kissing his neck. he thinks about waking him up by shaking him, but that doesn't sound nearly as fun.

 _"frankie!"_ zach yelps, laughing. he burrows himself backwards in frankie's couch until he has nowhere to go. frankie holds his wrists and laughs at him. zach's eyes squeeze shut and his legs kick out like he's trying to escape.

"what?" frankie asks innocently. "i'm just trying to wake you up! you're a heavy sleeper," he explains as he leans back in and kisses zach's neck again.

"i'm awake! i'm awake!" zach squeals, scrunching his shoulder so frankie can't get to his neck.

"that you are." frankie lets go of zach's wrists, but wraps his arms around zach and hugs him tightly, humming contentedly.

"how long was i asleep for?" zach says, finally relaxing into frankie's grip.

frankie shrugs. "a few years. while you were asleep a zombie invasion happened. the president's dead. the roads have all cracked open, so i think you're stuck here."

zach laughs. "okay. i guess i'll be staying for a while, then. better unpack."

* * *

  
frankie is vibrant like a disco ball, still wears glitter on his face outside of the house, at least when they go clubbing. he doesn't care who he bumps into when he dances, but that disregard is attractive to everyone, even zach.

guys come up behind him, in front of him, to the side of him. it's not who he is and it's not who he knows, people just see the way he moves and want to be near him. zach feels out of place and feels like he can't measure up. he hangs by the bar and does shots, ignores the gay guys that hit on him. he doesn't want them.

he turns on his bar stool to look back to the dance floor, and frankie is in a lip lock with some guy, some italian guy with a denim jacket on, and zach feels the bile rising in his throat.

"you're not gay, are you?" a whimsical voice asks him.

he turns back around to see the bartender smiling at him with raised eyebrows. she's pretty, young, blonde. she has her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, huge silver hoop earrings, and her name tag reads _courtney_.

zach presses his lips together. "no."

"didn't think so," she laughs. "you look straight off an abercrombie billboard."

her shift ends at two in the morning. he brings her back to frankie's and fucks her in frankie's guest bedroom, while frankie is trying to sleep across the hall. he throws his shoes heavily against the wooden floors, slams the bedroom door shut, makes sure courtney is as loud as possible.

he thinks it would be healthier to just go back to florida and forget any of this ever happened, pretend he didn't waste money on a flight to new york instead of going home to see his brother, his dog, and his mom. but he can't give up. he let frankie break his heart in the house and he's not going to let him do the same outside of the house.

* * *

  
"good morning, sunshine." frankie is poking him in the side, sitting on the edge of his bed with crossed legs. he's wearing his hoh robe that he got in his gift basket while they were on the show, and zach feels weirdly like this is deja vu and he's about to be lied to.

zach groans, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. "what time is it?"

"time for aspirin and pancakes," frankie says. he smiles down cheerfully at zach.

zach kind of wants to punch him. how can he be in such a good mood? "i'm not hungry. i need to look at flights. you have a laptop?" zach makes a move to shoot out of bed, but frankie pushes him back down on the bed.

frankie frowns, his palm flat on zach's chest. his blonde hair is slicked back wet like he just got out of the shower. he looks beautiful and zach can smell his own sweat. he can smell the liquor still on his own breath. he wants to crawl into a hole.

"you've been here for two days," frankie says slowly. "we haven't even gone to see a musical yet. you said you would meet ari."

how is it possible for zach to actually feel guilty? he can't say no to frankie. he looks down at his hands. "i mean, i haven't seen my broski since finale and i miss him."

frankie pouts, patting zach's knee from above the lump of covers. "i think you're just hungover. you got in late last night. you'll feel better after breakfast."

zach can't wrap his head around the things frankie says and how they contradict his actions. he'll tell zach he made him breakfast and baby him, then rub it in his face that he's not interested in him.

"yeah, i did get in late, didn't i?" zach asks innocently, playing with the blankets. "did i wake you up?"

frankie's expression quickly flits from hurt back to composed again. he shrugs non-commitedly, then plants a flat smile on his face. "your phone's been buzzing all morning."

zach reaches over to the bedside table once frankie's left the room. it's cody asking if he can party with them up in new york city. he's coming up for some stupid photoshoot and wants to meet ariana and get his fifteen minutes. zach is honestly sick of cody at this point and wants to throw his phone at the wall for possibly ruining his time with frankie in the city.

as soon as he tells frankie, hoping frankie will shoot it down, he instantly regrets it. frankie immediately perks back up and demands zach tell cody to wait and come in another week, or maybe two, and zach knows this is frankie's way of prolonging zach's stay.

he both thinks being here for two more weeks would be a nightmare and a dream come true.

* * *

frankie is used to boys playing games with him. it's not new to him - he's thirty one. he's been through all the bullshit and he doesn't have the time or the energy. he's been cheated on, been fucked over, and he doesn't believe in monogamy anymore.

what he _does_ believe in is free shots from cute boys, the timeless nature of pop music, and his own ability to be self sufficient. he doesn't _need_ anybody else.

he half expected zach to try to find a girlfriend while he was in the city - it's all he talked about while they were in the house. he didn't really expect zach to hook up with strangers. frankie knew it didn't really add up after zach swore up and down he wanted to be in a relationship, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up again on zach when he knew more than likely that it was already a lost cause. he tells himself that he's not allowed to be angry over it - it's not like zach ever promised him anything - but he kind of wants to scream when he thinks about zach fucking some twenty-one year old bartender.

"so, i have to go down to sign autographs," ariana says to him over the phone while zach is in the shower. after a minute of frankie not replying, she asks, "something bothering you?"

frankie grits his teeth. "nope. everything's great."

she sings a few lines from some sixties jazz song that frankie vaguely recognizes, clearly side-tracked, and frankie is so angry that she's not giving him her full attention, that he snaps. "look, i have to go. some of us have things to do today besides sign autographs and shoot music videos."

"so, he slept with someone else?" ariana asks, without even a shred of cruelty. she asks with exasperation, like it hurts her to know this as much as it hurts frankie.

frankie crumples. "yes." she knows him so well that he's not surprised she can see through him.

"call me later and tell me all about it," she promises.

frankie bangs his forehead against his refrigerator. "yeah, i will. love you." he hangs up.

* * *

  
that night they get back from frankie's favorite club late and stumble in the door laughing. frankie had managed to decline dancing with _three_ guys in favor of staying at the bar with zach and buying him beer, watching the foam get stuck on his top lip, and having to force himself not to kiss it off.

"that was fun," zach says, pulling the gray sweater that used to be amber's over his head. it pulls up the tee shirt he's wearing under it too, and his v-line has sharpened up a little since the summer. frankie guesses he's started working out again. "wasn't it?"

frankie wants to kill him. zach doesn't even realize how saying that makes it sound like they went on a date. that's the dumb line you toss at somebody after a first date when you're waiting for them to kiss you. but he doubts zach is waiting for frankie to kiss him.

"yeah, that was fun." frankie hangs onto zach's shoulder while he kicks off his shoes so he doesn't trip, feeling a little tipsy. "can we have sex now?"

zach laughs loudly, wrapping his arm around frankie's waist to help hold him up. "you're _so_ drunk."

frankie frowns. he's not, like, blackout drunk. so, maybe he's having a little trouble seeing straight. it's not like it _matters_. he _always_ wants zach. "i'm fine," he insists, but trips over himself when zach lets go of him. truthfully, he might be playing up this drunk thing a little so zach will keep touching him. is that messed up?

"okay, let's get you to the couch," zach laughs.

"thank you, honey." frankie presses his lips to zach's neck, letting his mouth drag enough so that his tongue can lick at zach.

zach makes a high-pitched yelping sound, laughing. _"frankie!"_

frankie lays down on the couch and pats the edge so zach will lay down beside him.

"okay, only for a minute," zach says, grinning. he lays facing the tv, so frankie wraps his arms around zach's middle and squeezes him.

he makes sure he falls asleep holding zach so he won't be able to move, but when he wakes up a few hours later, zach is no longer facing away from him. he's turned over in his sleep. zach is laying his head on frankie's chest, drooling on frankie's shirt.

* * *

"are you going to hit on her?" frankie asks zach in a cab on the way over. he tries to downplay it as a joke, but he figures with the dread on his face that zach will catch on.

"no," zach laughs, shaking his head. "i'll leave that to cody."

frankie snorts. "are you insane? i'm not introducing her to cody."

zach quirks his head to the side. "you're not? you said you would when we were in the house."

frankie smirks. "i said a lot of things in the house. i said i got a nose job because i had a deviated septum."

"wow," zach grins, "i feel special."

frankie reaches over and pats his knee, slowly inching his hand up zach's leg to briefly slip his hand between his thighs, making zach clamp his legs together and laugh. frankie hums and looks out his window like he has no idea why zach is laughing and shaking his legs to knock frankie's hand off.

so, zach meets ariana on a sunday morning. it's her last day in new york before she jets back to california. they go out to an outdoor cafe in a fairly inactive part of town, where taxis don't venture quite as much, and where ariana can take off her enormous sunglasses without fear of flash photography.

frankie watches them interact with baited breath. it's so strange seeing the two people he loves most in the world meeting and turning the two separate halves of frankie's life into one whole.

after breakfast, zach charms his way into paying for the bill. he snatches it out of ariana's hand, making her gape because nobody ever takes anything from her, and pulls out his wallet.

 _"zach!"_ frankie yells. "we had muffins and coffee. just let us pay."

zach shakes his head, digging through his wallet. "no, you bought me like six drinks last night. i can pay for muffins."

ariana kicks her platform shoe into frankie's shin from under the table, trying to get his attention. when he looks up at her, she wiggles her eyebrows. "you paid for six drinks, huh? i guess chivalry isn't dead after all."

frankie glares at her, making sure zach is still fussing over the tip before kicking her back with his shoe. _"ari,"_ he stresses.

"well," she continues, voice like a wind chime, "he's a catch. any boy would be lucky to have him."

zach looks up from the bill, looking amused. "thanks," he says breaking into a grin, "you know any?"

ariana screeches with laughter. she looks at zach appreciatively, and through frankie's tremendous embarrassment, he's still glad ariana seems to approve.

"i'll keep my eye out," she promises cheerfully, getting up from the table and smoothing her skirt down.

frankie rolls his eyes. maybe it wasn't his brightest idea to have them meet each other, seeing as they seem to feed off of each other's humor at frankie's expense.

* * *

  
zach doesn't really value fame or fortune all that much. he wanted to win the money. who fucking wouldn't? but he's always been perfectly content living in his parents' house and spending every day with his brother on the golf course or playing fantasy football at his bros' places.

he loved frankie way before he knew about ariana. he loved frankie after a week of knowing him. he'd never met anyone like him. when the whole house found out, he suddenly felt bitter and angry. why hadn't frankie trusted him enough to tell him? why couldn't frankie see that everybody else was just kissing his ass to meet celebrities after everything was said and done?

now that everything _is_ all said and done, zach realizes that frankie did what he did to save his game. now that they're in the real world, frankie isn't going to give everyone their fifteen minutes of fame. he choose _zach_ to meet his sister and that has to count for something.

the game's over and everything frankie does now, zach has to figure it's genuine. he has to get over all the shit that happened in the house. it's easier said then done, but hanging onto those hurt feelings is just making him more miserable.

when they get back to frankie's place, zach throws himself backwards onto the couch. frankie looks like he wants to launch himself into zach's lap, but instead sits on the edge of the couch, right in front of zach.

"she _loved_ you," frankie says happily, "because you weren't, like, asking to instagram a picture with her."

"no," zach says. he reaches forwards and starts massaging frankie's shoulders, digging his fingers in sharply the way frankie likes it. he tries to express his thoughts. "dude, like, i've met all my heroes. i see tiger woods like once a week! i like your sister because she's your sister, you know?"

frankie nods. "i know."

he makes a low, content humming sound of pleasure as zach rubs harder, and zach wonders if that's what frankie sounds like in bed, then catches himself, and cringes.

"i'm so glad she liked you. makes it easier for us to break the news to her about the wedding later on," frankie continues in an even tone, as if he were talking about the weather.

zach grins. "oh, definitely." he massages frankie's shoulders for a few more minutes, until frankie sighs and leans back against zach's chest. zach feels his heart race and he's frustrated he doesn't know what to do. he lets frankie rest his full weight on zach and lay his head back on zach's chest.

zach wishes he could see frankie's face. he can't seem to think of anything to say and feels an overwhelming desire to fill up the silence with something. he brings up something that he's been stewing over. "dude, i'm _dreading_ cody coming. i just spent, like, two weeks with him."

frankie laughs and his body shakes gently on top of zach's chest. "he's only staying for a few days. we can ditch him at the clubs if he gets annoying."

"dude, he's _always_ annoying!" zach insists, raising one hand to bite his nails.

"i think you just don't want him to intrude on your time here with me." frankie brings his hand down to zach's leg and rubs his knee again, then his thigh again. it's strangely comforting.

zach sighs, his hands rubbing nervously over frankie's chest. "maybe," he admits in exasperation.

they sleep on the couch again. zach feels kind of guilty for not waking frankie up when he falls asleep between zach's legs, but he's so comfortable. frankie weighs practically nothing and it's nice to have a warm body on top of his, even if frankie snores a little.

* * *

  
_"how_ long have you been here?" cody asks when he takes one step into the guest bedroom.

zach shrugs, kicking a pair of his shorts lying on the floor out of the way. he knows it's a little messy, but that's just how he is. cody's sleeping in here with him now, just like germany, and zach hasn't really missed his company, to be honest. he's always bitching and moaning.

"bro, your shit is _everywhere_. there's bowls of _cereal_ on the bed. how do you sleep here?" cody bemoans. this is exactly why zach didn't want cody to come.

"i don't sleep here a lot," zach grants, shrugging again, not realizing what he's saying.

cody shoots him a look. "so, where do you sleep?"

"the couch," zach mumbles, turning his back on cody to pick up his sneakers and toss them into the closet.

cody frowns. _"why?_ there's a queen sized bed in here."

zach says nothing and continues to halfheartedly pick up after himself. he's in the process of stacking some bowls to take back into the kitchen when he sees the wave of realization hit cody.

" _oh_ ," he says, grinning. "one less room to walk through if frankie invites you to his bedroom."

zach goes beet red. "fuck you, we just fall asleep on the couch watching tv a lot."

"cute routine you two have going here. when's the wedding?"

zach slaps cody upside the head on his way out of the room with his dishes.

* * *

  
there's something about having cody with them that makes zach feel like he's back in the big brother house - he half expects to see derrick following cody when cody comes around the corner. he tells this to frankie, who laughs at him and looks at him like he's crazy.

there's also a bed dilemma that zach isn't looking forward to solving. he doesn't know whether to sleep with cody to get cody to stop making jokes at zach's expense or if he should sleep with frankie so he doesn't have to deal with cody at all.

the couch is looking good.

"you're not really sleeping on the couch all week, are you?" frankie asks, his lip curling up like he's about to laugh. "just sleep with me."

cody walks into the room with a beer in his hand, plopping himself down between the two of them on the couch, draping each arm over each side of the back of the couch. zach scowls.

he ends up deciding to stay on the couch all night. his pride can't take a hit right now. he resolutely decides not to allow cody to ruin this for zach. he has a nice thing going with frankie. they're, like, in this gray area. they're basically dating without actually hooking up. zach knows this and likes it this way. it's easy. comfortable. 

cody being here just makes zach angry. it makes him want to reach over and punch cody, or something. he can't figure it out. it's like he wants to grab frankie and kiss him, just to get cody to _leave._ he wants cody to go home so he doesn't feel all this pressure anymore.

"okay," frankie sighs in exasperation. he leans down over zach and kisses the top of his head. "goodnight, love of my life." then, he walks out of the room.

zach stares straight ahead at the tv and refuses to dignify cody's laughter with a response.

* * *

  
every time frankie thinks zach is coming to terms with his sexuality, he stops dead in his tracks like there's a road block that only he can see. he can practically see the wheels turning in zach's head when frankie touches him. he would bet anything zach is thinking _should i let him touch me? should i touch him? what do i do?_

he thought maybe cody being here would speed up the process, because he remembers when they were in the house and he would touch cody, zach would get this dejected look in his eyes like someone just took his golf clubs and smashed them into pieces. then, he would wait until cody left the room and be all over him, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling his neck.

it's not really working out that way this time.

they go out and cody steers zach over to a group of girls and frankie feels his body clench up, scared to death that zach will bring someone home. before he knows what he's doing, he's walking up to cody and pressing a kiss to his cheek and telling him they should go to a gay club for fun.

"yes!" cody shouts. "but let me get a shot first!" he walks over to the bar, tugging one of the girls with him.

frankie waits nervously for zach to look at him. he's still talking to a girl, some tall girl with toned arms who probably runs track. when he sees frankie staring at him, he rolls his eyes.

"why can't we stay here?" he has his arm around the girl's waist.

frankie's face hardens. "you wouldn't have trouble there either."

zach gives him a weird look, like it's never even crossed his mind that he could theoretically hook up with a guy at a gay club. he shrugs like he's agreeing and frankie is afraid zach will take this as a challenge.

it's this moment that frankie wants to go to his sister's place in los angeles, crawl into bed with her, and eat a huge tub of chocolate. he has a horrible feeling that this night isn't going to go well.

he's right. he's so busy watching what zach does that he actually gets felt up by some guy who's gone when frankie turns around to yell at them. when he turns back around, he's astounded to see zach being dragged into the public bathroom by a guy.

"who was that?" frankie yells to cody over the music.

cody nearly falls over himself laughing. "logan." he squints like he can't remember. "or lucas. hey, frankie, you wanna dance?"

frankie sort of wants to climb the fire escape up onto the roof of the building and jump off the top of it to his death. "what did he say?' he shouts in cody's ear.

cody grins. "he said he'd be back in twenty minutes."

frankie thinks he might puke. it's too bad he can't go to the bathroom.

"you okay, bro?" cody asks, reaching over to rub frankie's back.

frankie looks at the ground. "yeah!" he yells. "i have to get some air." he darts through the crowd and ends up in the back alley of the club. he's alone except for one girl smoking a cigarette maybe ten yards away.

he scrubs one hand over his face, feeling sick to his stomach. he shimmies his phone out of his back pocket and stares at it for the longest time, just trying to decide if two in the morning was too late to call ari.

he wanted to be zach's first guy. he was supposed to be, wasn't he? he didn't see this coming. 

"hey!" cody shouts, head poking out of the door. "what are you doing? we're ready to leave."

frankie looks over to him and doesn't see zach anywhere.

* * *

  
"i have to piss," cody announces as they walk through the door. he jogs down the hallway, leaving zach and frankie standing alone.

"how was he?" frankie asks icily, turning his back on zach to hang up his coat by the door.

 _"what?"_ zach asks.

"lucas," frankie clarifies, turning around. "how was he?"

zach glares at him. "logan?" he shrugs. "fine."

frankie grits his teeth. "was it everything you hoped?"

"stop," zach says, cringing and looking down the hallway like he's hoping cody will come and rescue him.

frankie steps forward, placing his hand on zach's chest. "what? i can't ask?"

zach looks like he wants to run away. "it was great. can i go now?"

frankie reaches down and rests his hand on zach's dick over his jeans. "you're still hard. i guess you didn't get to finish?"

zach swallows, eyes wide like he's terrified. frankie steps even closer, pushing zach against the door gently with one hand. "frankie, stop."

they hear cody coming and zach quickly slips past frankie, walking straight down the hall to the guest bedroom.

"he going to bed already?" cody asks, walking over to the fridge and yawning. "i guess he's not sleeping on the couch."

frankie doesn't know whether he would have stopped had cody not come back into the room.

* * *

"were you guys, like, together?" cody asks as he climbs into bed beside zach.

zach doesn't reply.

"like, were you dating and then you broke up, or something?" cody continues, not taking a hint.  
  
zach pretends to be asleep already, even though he's still wearing his jeans and hasn't taken his sneakers off yet. he buries his face into his pillow and tries not to cry.

* * *

"zach," frankie whispers, touching his shoulder. "zach."

zach opens his eyes and squints in the dark. he startles back and feels cody's body behind him in bed. "what?" he asks, forgetting to sound angry.

"can we talk?"

zach moves to hide his face in his pillow. "what time is it?"

"i don't know. like, five."

five in the _morning_ , zach thinks incredulously. "i guess so." he crawls out of bed, still in his jeans and sneakers, careful not to wake cody, and follows frankie to his bedroom.

when they get to his room, zach toes off his sneakers and unbuttons his jeans, sliding them off so he can sleep better. frankie lays in bed in the dark while he waits for zach to get under the covers. when he does, neither of them talk for a while.

"it sucked," zach says finally, breaking the silence.

"what?" frankie asks in confusion.

zach raises his hand to rub at his eyes tiredly. "it sucked. the guy. tonight."

"oh," frankie says, frowning. "i'm sorry." he reaches over to his night stand and turns on the lamp, lighting up only a small part of the room.

zach winces into the light. he has no idea what else to say. he doesn't know if he's supposed to be talking to frankie as a friend or if talking about it is just going to piss frankie off again.

"why did it suck?" frankie asks slowly.

it's way too embarrassing to make eye contact with frankie while he talks to him, so he pulls one of frankie's pillows over his face. "i couldn't get hard."

frankie pulls the pillow off zach's face. "i can't hear you," he laughs gently.

zach groans. "i said i wasn't hard. like, he tried, but i wasn't into it." he hopes frankie doesn't put two and two together and realize that when they came home from the club zach wasn't _still_ hard. he hadn't gotten hard at the club at all and didn't until frankie backed him into the door.

"he tried to blow you?" frankie asks carefully.

zach makes a face. "yeah."

frankie laughs. "you got a blowjob and didn't like it?"

zach looks at frankie finally and rolls his eyes. "yeah, i guess."

"maybe you _are_ straight," frankie muses.

"i mean, i am, mostly," zach agrees. "but i wouldn't normally even kiss a girl i wasn't into."

frankie nods slowly. "so if a guy you actually liked kissed you, you would like it?"

zach groans again. "i don't _know!"_

frankie hums. "well, c'mere."

zach lifts his head up in confusion. _"what?"_ he can't be serious. zach looks at him nervously.

"we're best friends, right?" frankie asks. "so, you like me."

zach feels his own foot start to jitter under the blankets anxiously. "i mean, yeah."

frankie looks at him fondly. "okay. stay right there," he orders.

zach feels himself start to panic, but he makes sure to stay still with his head on his pillow as frankie slowly eases himself over zach with his elbows holding him up. he judges zach's expression carefully, then gently takes zach's chin to hold his head in place, and kisses him.

zach's foot finally stills under the blankets. his body freezes like he's afraid frankie will stop kissing him if he moves. frankie kisses his bottom lip softly and zach can barely kiss back, his panic settling heavily into his chest. frankie uses the hand still holding his chin to run his thumb over zach's bottom lip when he pulls back.

zach realizes he really likes how frankie is touching him, like he's _special_ or loved, or something. it's so humiliating, but it's making him swoon a little bit. he sits up straight in bed, resting his back against the headboard. he doesn't know if frankie really loves him or not. he's not sure why it makes such a big difference. 

"you remember when i told you i had feelings for you in the house?" frankie asks, sighing and sitting up straight beside zach, shoulder to shoulder.

zach nods. "do you still?" he asks the comforter, not being able to look at frankie again.

"yeah. i'm still kind of weirdly in love with you, i think," frankie says with a sad little laugh, like he's trying to play it off as a joke.

zach nods again, heart racing. he tries to tug frankie closer to him by pulling his bare arm, and frankie immediately leans over and tips zach's head back, kissing him again, and zach feels like he's melting a little. he didn't expect to kiss frankie tonight and he _had_ thought about it a lot, but he hadn't expected it to be so _soft._ frankie's stubble isn't even bothering him.

"you're hard again," frankie notices, running one hand quickly over zach's crotch. he swings one leg over zach so he's straddling him, their hips connecting.

zach swallows. "yeah."

frankie reaches one hand to the back of zach's head to pull it back by the hair at the nape of his neck, so zach's head falls to the headboard. then, he kisses zach's neck with an open mouth.

"frankie," zach whines, gripping frankie's arm tightly.

"hmm?" frankie asks.

he's glad frankie seems so calm because he feels like he's going to have a stroke. he guesses frankie figures out that zach has nothing to say, because he kisses him again, this time sliding his tongue into zach's mouth.

zach drops his hands down to his sides and finds himself pushing back the covers to grab frankie's ass, making frankie pull back from kissing zach and giggle. he lifts a little way off of zach to find his placing and when he drops back down on zach's lap, he grinds down on him.

"how's this? is this okay?" frankie whispers.

"frankie, shut up, _god_. you know exactly what you're doing."

frankie pouts. "just wanna hear you say it." he grinds in a slow circle until zach's mouth falls open and he pants.

"it's good, frankie. _fuck_ , it's good."

frankie uses zach's shoulders as leverage to rock his hips into zach's. "is this better than the blowjob at the club?"

"yeah," zach confirms. "i didn't even like him."

"but you like me?" frankie prompts hopefully.

"yeah, i like you. i wanna fuck you," zach admits, pulling frankie closer by his ass.

frankie grins, still moving against zach. "yeah? you should."

he finally reaches a hand down zach's boxers and zach hopes frankie can't tell how wet with precum the material already is. frankie starts pushing down his own sweatpants and zach has no idea what's happening until he feels frankie's dick slide against his, both of them rock hard. frankie grips both of them at the same time, his hand tight around the head of zach's dick, and zach feels hot all over.

zach's toes curl when he comes. he thought that only happened in movies. his toes have never even curled from sex with a girl, never mind a handjob. frankie lowers his head to zach's chest so he can look down and see what he's doing. he slides his hand around his shaft, making zach inhale sharply, still sensitive. frankie gasps and comes between his own fist and zach's dick.

"oh my god," he says, "that was hot."

zach nods. "yeah, that was, um. new."

frankie laughs into zach's neck. "that's my little tiger."

zach raises his hand to pet at frankie's head.

**Author's Note:**

> bizach.tumblr.com


End file.
